I remember as a child when my birthday meant that my mother planned a big celebration and invited all my friends. Whether it was a class party with cake by the poolside, or a special surprise tea party with my closest gal pals, those memories were special because of the love that went into the planning. After becoming a mother, I poured that love into planning my daughters’ birthdays, but I needed to remember how to enjoy my birthday as a mom.
When I moved across the country from my family and friends, I realized that the responsibility of finding happiness on my birthday was up to me. This past year, maybe it was turning a certain age that made me feel like I didn’t care anymore if anyone judged me for how I planned my birthday, and I had the best time.
Featured today on Enjoying Family Life, I’m sharing how to enjoy your birthday as a mom so you can learn how to make this special day a good one.
Plan a day that makes you happy
Your plans are entirely up to you on your birthday. Decide what you want to do. Come up with a schedule that sounds enjoyable and exciting to you.
It might feel silly at first to plan a birthday for yourself when you are more accustomed to planning your child’s birthday. However, the only person who is responsible for planning this day is yourself. If you want to have an all-out party, go for it! Invite those who you love most. They will appreciate not being expected to make the perfect plans for you. If you know what you want, make it happen!
Keeping plans simple at home can feel like a special celebration too. Have special activities planned with different family members to keep the day feeling eventful.
On my birthday this year, I took my daughters out for boba tea because I knew they would be delighted for the treat, and I wanted some quality time together. When we were out, they picked out a few bouquets of flowers so we could make a flower arrangement together as a birthday party activity. The simplicity of the day made it feel more close and personal.
Although these plans were very simple, it was more than I usually would have done for myself. I even let my daughters bring home a few balloons because to children, the balloons and decor make the party happen!
Since I wanted my birthday to feel like a party, I picked out dramatic birthday cake fireworks. We took a photo of one on the cake, and we lit the rest in the backyard. Even our small gathering at home felt like an exciting party!
As you plan the day, keep your happiness in mind. Consider your own emotions as well as those of the people you are inviting to be a part of your day. If your family does not usually like a certain activity, they might be willing to try it anyway if it matters to you.
However, you will find that happy guests make a happy party. Making too many demands and expecting others to do things that they truly don’t want to do can make the day feel stressful rather than celebratory. As you plan, prioritize the activities you simply must-do. Keep it entertaining and happy for everyone, and be flexible.
Make your expectations a reality
Often, the advice given to mothers on special occasions is to lower their expectations. Find joy, even when it’s not what you wanted. I’m going to ask that you do the opposite. Keep your expectations exactly as high as you would like them to be. The key to this not being a disaster is that you can’t expect someone else to make them happen for you.
Sometimes, the pressure for others to plan a day that meets your expectations can bring resentment and make the day more stressful than happy. Don’t rely on someone else to make it a special day.
No one has to swoop in and organize the day for you. If you want a certain cake, a kid-free night out, or a party with live music, make it happen. There are no rules that say you can’t!
Get together with friends
Make plans to see people who you have a connection with around the time of your birthday. If you live near all your close friends, this is simple to do, but that’s not the case for many mothers who moved far from home or who lost the connections they had before motherhood.
Having a support network that is bigger than your immediate family matters. These might be casual connections you meet in mom groups or while volunteering at school events.
Getting together with friends doesn’t have to be a major event. You can simply invite someone to go out with you, even if they don’t know it’s your birthday. There’s no need to announce it or have a birthday-themed outing. Keep in simple. Go for a walk, or take an interesting class together. Simply seeing other people will improve your mood and keep you feeling positive.
Connect with your mom
Your birthday is always going to be the biggest deal to your own mother who is celebrating the day she met you. Remember to connect, even if you’re far away from each other!
Treat yourself
Choosing the perfect gift can create a burden on those who love you. If there is something that will make you happy for your birthday, make sure to treat yourself!
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